From Ungracious Panda, 9 Months ago, written in Plain Text.
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  10. My husband dotes on me. Insists I recognize my own feelings and if I can't, he will probe and either encourage or demand I care for myself. I have health issues. Due to prior abuse, I'm left with physical scars which require attention. I'd happily forge right through them and ramp up my pain and ignore it until it brought me to my knees. After all, my self worth was taught at a different level. Work Ethics and Energy Applied at any cost was my enforced role. So now rest and sleeping have become my new applied rule.
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  12. Equally in accepting love and kindness. Never could I put my physical needs first. Nor accept anything without thinking an immediate good turn. I had learned that a price was to be paid for any attention to myself. The price was so heavy, I didn't want that attention anymore! So Gary puts rules in place to force me otherwise. I must wait to be put in the car. I must wait to have my coat put on or off. I must wait to be tucked into bed each night. Is that for submission? In ways. But if you look at the history, it's for reasons to help me accept love. Submission was just a good byproduct...lol..
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  14. In our marriage I am never wrong. Simply because if left to my own brain patterns, I'd be wrong for every little thing that happens. Having that lifted from me, allows me to have a freedom otherwise. Once it's not my fault anymore, I can be there in a supportive way. Laugh it off, accept the reality but not bear the weight of the guilt. Gary does not do things lightly. He has watched, looked, probed and guided. He does things with purpose and reason. Each of us comes with our history and therefore reasons for doing what we do. I say before we can truly understand the whys or hows, take a deeper look.
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