From Abrupt Anoa, 1 Year ago, written in Plain Text.
  12. One thing that helped me enormously during the first year was my wife reminding me that, even though she did not enjoy the disciplinary spankings (she often pleads and cries during a disciplinary spanking) when they occurred, it was something she really wanted and needed. Even after seven years of living this way, she still finds it exhilarating when I take her in hand by giving her a good thrashing. She really needs you to be firm. As you gain more experience and learn her body language you will know when she has had enough. It is interesting to note that women do not complain that their husbands spank too harshly, but rather their husbands are not firm enough. If a problem does arise it is something you can discuss with her afterwards. However, spanking and other forms of discipline are not an end in of itself. For us at least, it is about connecting to each other in deep and abiding way.
  14. As to maintaining your role as disciplinarian in times of stress it is essential that you NEVER discipline her if you have lost your self control. The matter can always wait till later, after you have regained your composure. As you have already been advised, send her upstairs to wait while you regain your composure. This does not mean you can never be motivated by anger, but you must be in control of your emotions. Shouting at her and other out of control expressions of anger have no place in a Taken In Hand relationship. It will only scare her and ultimately cause her to lose respect for you. Taking a woman in hand is more about your firm leadership and self control than it is about spanking. This does not mean you must be perfect...none of us are. What makes disciplining my wife so effective is not just the spanking (although that is important for many women who want to be taken in hand, my wife included) but that she respects and trust me. If you are able to master your own emotions, then you are ready to master her. As I said in a recent comment, any fool can spank. But the man who can control himself will gain the most precious thing - the respect and trust of his wife.