From Sweltering Duck, 11 Months ago, written in Plain Text.
  10. Maybe it’s semantics. I remember one comment I had received from someone saying they “wantonly served” that had really struck me and stayed with me (link), I was drawn to it despite the mention of serving. Because I felt deep cherishment and trust hidden there instead, that she must know deep down she was safe and cherished enough to give “wantonly” because she was protected and would be cared for and have her feelings and needs honored rather than being used. She used the word serving but she did not at all feel like a servant to me, she felt very cherished. As your grandmother felt as well.
  12. Because I bet if there were times or areas she felt bad and needed a break or an adjustment your grandfather would have not only not have been upset but would have protected and actively supported her. From the picture you’ve painted I can picture him shooing away any who would disturb her as she rested when needed for example, or if she was doing something and it was taking a toll I picture him noticing that and asking her to slow down, or if there was a way to make things more pleasant for her I picture him wanting to be on top of that. Because I picture her comfort and feelings being the very top priority to him and he being actively protective and supportive of her, and that is the critical key. It means she CAN let go and trust and “serve” with reckless abandon because she truly knows she is loved and safe, and giving back from that place is so very healing, so natural.
  14. But this is NOT the world of a female servant, a female servant’s feelings come last, her comfort cues must be buried, her true receptivity and trust are killed bit by bit and thus her female core is damaged. This is not the same thing at all as a man being a
  15. servant-leader and sharing his male imparting core, it is rather destroying a woman’s receptive core. Very deeply dangerous stuff. And I don’t see that at all in your grandmother or my “sweeper” dream. I see cherishment and glowing. And as an extension of that I still get images of things like Snow White and her “whistling while she works” knowing “someday her prince will come”.
  17. To explain that…
  18. Here is where I am right now with all this. I am slowly opening more and more to how God cherishes us, and more personally how he cherishes me, letting myself quiet more and more and feel that. And whenever I can feel that, something heals a little more inside and there is more openness and softness, and that openness and softness is what I find brings me deeper into my female center. So I’ll “whistle while I work” knowing “someday my prince will come” and am so completely with you when you say you want